The 8 Best Articles from The Sober Sexpert
The 8 Best Articles from The Sober Sexpert
Before I wrote ‘Dry Humping,’ I wrote these…
Happy Hump Day! I’m Tawny, an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. I’m here to empower you to find your *intrinsic* courage without booze—regardless of your relationship status—one date at a time.
Before we dive into this week’s issue, here’s a quick reminder to submit your preorder receipt so you can download your Dry Humping Starter Guide and receive a signed bookplate!
Haven’t preordered my book yet? No time like the present!
I quit drinking on November 30th, 2015. Just a few weeks into my sobriety, I learned that I had no idea how to date without booze. Back then, there were very few resources about sobriety other than the traditional 12-step model and just a few books or podcasts. And those resources rarely talked about sex and dating other than AA’s “just wait a year before you date” adage.
The term Sober Curious was still in its infancy, only used at Ruby Warrington’s emerging Club SODA events, which I frequently attended. There were a few non-alcoholic drinks like Curious Elixirs and Töst, but nothing like the thriving NA drink scene we have today. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention (based on Plato’s quote, “Our need will be the real creator”). I had no idea how to date without alcohol so… I wrote about it. This writing led to me figuring out my relationship with alcohol as well as my relationship with, well, relationships.
I read QuitLit memoirs and devoured Sex in Recovery: A Meeting Between the Covers by Jennifer Matesa. I asked friends about their experiences with sober dating; let’s just call those conversations early-stage interviews. This personal and professional work also led to me becoming The Sober Sexpert (thanks for the nickname, Ruby!).
I knew I ultimately wanted to write a book about sober sex and dating “one day.” I tried writing it as a memoir, but that didn’t work. So I kept writing, freelancing, and podcasting, until I found the perfect angle for the work that became Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze.
Dry Humping wouldn’t exist without the research I did and the articles I wrote for years. Writing these pieces helped me sharpen my journalism skills while learning more about myself and the global obsession with liquid courage.
So this week, instead of answering a subscriber question as I normally would, here’s a roundup of some of my previously written advice pieces.
How To Have Sex-Positive Talks With Your Teen Without Being Cringey
How to Save (or Spend) All That Money You’re Not Using to Buy Booze
I also have essays about sober sex in the following anthologies:
And if you want to read something a little…spicier… Men’s Health interviewed Nick and me about our sober sex lives. Read it here.
What are you reading this week? Do any of these articles stand out to you? Your comments are nourishing, so please indulge me. 😊
Happy Humping,
P.S. This issue was edited by Irina Gonzalez.
