Happy Saturday, y’all. Today’s my 9th SoBerthday1!!!
I’m sipping some Earl Grey tea while reflecting on the last nine years of being alcohol-free and committing to mental health recovery, one day at a time. Every career milestone, boundary I’ve set, and personal/professional relationship are all thanks to waking up on November 30th, 2015, and deciding not to drink anymore. I met my hubby and most of my friends in sober (curious) settings!
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned over nine years of recovery, reporting on the sober curious/mindful drinking movement, and being an extremely online Millenial.
📋9 Lessons from 9 Years in Recovery
Sobriety is *much* more than living your life without a substance. Sobriety means being mindful of the people, places, and things that trigger your desire to self-soothe with said substance(s) and harmful behaviors. It also means having an arsenal of tools, both metaphorical and physical, that you can rely on when times get tough.
Being aware of your self-destructive behaviors2 is just as important as being aware of the substances you rely on.
Anger is not a bad emotion. If you don’t find healthy ways to express your anger, that emotion can metastasize into something horrendous. Women: FEEL YOUR ANGER—especially when it feels “unladylike.” Don’t wait to address your rage.
There’s a difference between privacy and secrets.
Liquid courage is a façade. Real courage comes from doing hard things.
It’s not my responsibility to save the world. Even if it were, I do not possess the ability to control anyone other than myself. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Ask for help!!! I mean it. Stop thinking you need to suffer alone. Whether you’re trying to get sober or accomplish a big goal or need help moving furniture… ask for help!!!! Text someone right now and ask them to help you with that thing you’ve been putting off. Do it!!
Relationships require a lot of work. Friendships, romance, family, colleagues, all of it. Healthy relationships require clear communication, compromise, self-awareness, and boundary-setting. People pleasing hurts relationships more than honesty.
You don’t need to hit “rock bottom” to make a lifestyle change.
🎊Celebrate With Me
If my work over the last 9 years has impacted your life in any way, consider supporting my small business in the following ways:
Venmo me here
Preorder The Sobriety Deck (it’s out on Tuesday!)
Buy my drink
Buy my book
Subscribe to my podcast
Promote my work in an upcoming newsletter, press feature, or social media post
Venmo me here
XO,
Tawny
a term I coined in 2017
social media, codependency, eating disorders/disordered eating habits, gambling, shopping, sex and love addiction, people pleasing, perfectionism, work addiction, and many, many more.
Happy 9!!! Appreciate your work in the world! 💫
Bravo! Bravo for your sobriety and bravo on this piece. So well written. Keep growing and only deal with what’s right in front of you. Be present in the moment. That’s what I’ve learned in my 12 years in sobriety. I had 8 years and then relapsed because I stopped doing all the little things that worked for me, and in me. Again, well done! Be proud of yourself, because I sure am.